Standing in an Open Doorway
In essence,the dream I've had for most of my adult life is a simple one. I dream of a network of places between, places where people can be welcomed and supported in those moments between other parts of their lives. In other words, I dream of creating liminal space.
That kind of space is very special and very necessary in people's lives. It allows us to explore,be open to new options and make choices that are real choices,not just sliding through life on necessity or momentum.Liminal space also makes room for conversations with oneself and with others.It makes room for strangers to meet and creates the opportunity for friendship and collaboration to grow.
When I was a child,most public outdoor spaces could be liminal spaces at least some of the time. Children played outdoors anyplace they didn't get kicked out of the vast majority of time not taken up by sleep,eating,home or school, associating with whatever random kids they came across in their neighborhood and making friendships with some of those they met.Adults often still spent some considerable time in public spaces where it was acceptable or even encouraged to talk to strangers. It was also more widely accepted that neighbors would get to know each other and share social time both inside and outside each other's homes. Not every neighbor was welcomed or welcoming but there was still a lot of both going on.
Gradually,as I was growing up and into my adulthood all that changed. Children don't play outside freely in their neighborhood. Adults don't often talk with their neighbors or go places intending to meet new people.
I think that internet dating and meet up groups are a valid attempt to fill some of that void. Interest based classes and work shops as well as civic engagement also create narrow windows in which spontaneous connection can happen.It's rare that those connections last and grow, but it does happen.
Liminal space isn't only needed for friendship with others,though. It's needed for a vital kind of friendship with ourselves. This expanded space between moments of life allows us to grow into who we are,to heal from whatever wounds we have suffered to the extent it is possible and to know,through contemplation and exploration,what next steps we want to take in whatever situation we find ourselves in.
So,what might an expanded liminal space look like? In my mind it looks like a hostel where people can stay while in life transitions and while traveling,with spaces for guests and neighbors to meet and enjoy shared experiences as well as have quiet alone time of various kinds which give the opportunity for people to connect with themselves and each other in ways that make sense to them.
What kind of shared activities might foster inner and outer connection? All the good things that bring joy and support health and resilience in individuals and communities are candidates. Exploring those possibilities will take lifetimes.
If this dream speaks to you, please help me make it real.